The Apple Conference
Shenzhen, China, 2011/12
How to Spot a Local Female Chinese(NB: Hong Kong is not China)
Based on the above information, can YOU guess which ones are Chinese?
Apple Sales Initiative China (AKA The Mianzi Project)Miànzi: "Face", honor, i.e., something $$ to play games on while smoking in elevators or nose picking while sitting in the handicapped seat in the subbaway.
Path to Apple Sales Success
Meika Epu Plowducts mo ekaspensiw wow atta da sem time incwudeen mo geimza. Translation:
Accusations of Oregano Use
Conspiracy TheoriesIt is said that Steve Jobs created expensive GPS devices to track the movement of rich elevator smokers in China who were later to become the chief consumers of his company's products.   Debunkers claim   that this is impossible, because elevator smokers are an urban myth. Humans breathe air, not smoke, therefore Jobs would have never wished to track the "elevator smokers" any more than the tooth fairy or smart women. However both conspiracy theorists and sheeple agree that Apple meetings under Job's direction - even when in China - were always mysteriously smoke-free.[credentialled windbag needed]
Other conspiracy theorists claim he has telepathic conversations with Chinese elevator smokers via a button on his chin. This explains the sudden success of Apple products in China in 2011, and also explains why he was always putting his finger on his chin in black and white pictures. 
Jobs is alleged to be a fake name used by Moshe Arbeitberg-Jandali, the son of Syrian jews who were forced to leave during a government crackdown on organized crime.
Highly accredited journalists in the US responded to his jewishness by kvetching and saying that he was simply Syrian. His parents' reason going for to the US was to escape persecution.
No Fireworks at the ConventionApple Corporation has been at the forefront of China-based education efforts aimed at dispeling the notion that fireworks attract the money diety, replacing them with the well-established and scientifically understood fact that fireworks cause the money god to run away, then go into hiding at local fireworks stores - particularly by the cash register area of said store. Apple Corporation has found the most effective method of education is having huge conventions with exhorbitant profits in luxurious surroundings, providing fantastic food and clean bathrooms - all without fireworks. Then when the participants return to Weedhole, China, find reeking bathrooms, food laced with sewer-oil, opium and fried insects, all the while having mini-nukes going off at one-hour intervals, the reality of what attracts and repels the money god becomes self-evident.
Mrtao.com Exclusive Photo: Chinese money god seen running from fireworks
Chinese scaring the money god away from themselves, ensuring
a lifetime of poverty, stinky bathrooms, and food laced with sewer oil
Smoke-free ConventionThe strict enforcement of anti-smoking measures at the convention also served to dispel the uniquely Chinese notion that, if you don't suck fags, you can't make money or do business.
However, the fact that the majority of Apple Corporation's profits come from smoking Chinese gamers remains unchanged.
This is Apple Corporation's new target consumer
Barehanded Vegetable Eater