Taunt no.1

 Merry Kisstmas, Mr. Dummypants.

 Mr. I left my brain in bed this mornernoon.

 Heres a sexy box fer ya, black-red & bow-topped.

 Nasify the puckered ribbon.

 Is it like poison honey drunk in the Valley of Silk Boulders?

 Ah!  Not so fast.  Guessle it first.

 Does it gingle like jold or tangle like jin?

 Anyhoo its opened & visible now.

 Wow!  Dual-ring contraptions with a chain betwixt.

 Theyre adjustable C one-size-fits-all.

 

 But the keys scintle up on cathedrals spire.

 A kind of unihorns corntip

 aiming up and away from crude sledges,

 opposed to roof decorments for your downstares neighbor,

 Mr. Hades.

 

 The gifts crispy receipt in yonder jet stream blows,

 Tho the store will gladly reset it

 with a sturdy, negative check from a misandrist judge.

 

 Merry Debtmas, Mr. Emptypants, and a happy Due Year.

 2006/12 Nanjing

Explanation of "Taunt no.1"

Taunt no.2